Success is a word we hear constantly in our modern world. But what does it truly mean to achieve success?
Is it about external validation, hitting specific milestones, or driving the right car?
After years of working with patients and observing different paths to fulfillment, I’ve developed a different philosophy of success that focuses on reaching your unique potential rather than comparing yourself to others.
Reach Your Potential: My Philosophy of Success
My philosophy of success is simple: True success is a measure of how close you get to reaching your full potential in anything you do. This definition holds true regardless of external factors, economic circumstances, or personal limitations.
Let me share an example I see regularly. At the grocery store, I sometimes encounter employees with intellectual disabilities bagging groceries. These individuals, who might have Down syndrome or another cognitive challenge, are often incredibly successful, by my definition. They interact with their community, support themselves to some extent, and find joy in life and work.
Compare this to someone with an advanced degree or two who isn’t contributing to society despite their intellectual capabilities. Which scenario represents true success? In my mind, there’s no question.
Success is about doing the best you can with what you have.
How to Achieve Success: 3 Core Elements
When we break down how to achieve success, three fundamental needs drive our sense of fulfillment:
1. Importance
We need to feel that what we do is important, not just to ourselves. We need a sense that we’re contributing something valuable to other people or to society as a whole.
This doesn’t mean we all have to pursue dramatic or life-saving careers. While success certainly can look like a surgeon saving lives, it can also be a decorator transforming homes or a mechanic ensuring safe travel. We simply need a sense of value and contribution in whatever we pursue according to our abilities.
2. Appreciation
We all want recognition for our efforts, especially from those we serve. Appreciation fuels motivation and deepens our connection to our work.
3. Compensation
We also need to feel we’re being rewarded fairly for our work. While money isn’t the best measure of success, financial stability allows us to live comfortably and focus on achieving success in other areas of life.
Why Comfort Zones = Danger Zones
When trying to eliminate stress from our lives — an endeavor I fully endorse — it’s easy to fall into the trap of the comfort zone.
While excess stress is harmful, even I admit that a little stress isn’t just inevitable — it’s necessary. Success — and the growth required to get there — requires some stress and discomfort. Whether in work, fitness, relationships, or personal development, staying in the comfort zone prevents us from growing.
Perhaps counterintuitively, stress can be a positive force. Small amounts of stress challenge us to push our limits, both in the physical and mental realms. Physical stress produces bigger muscles and better endurance. Mental stress produces new skills and greater capacity.
We have only two settings in life: growing and dying. There’s no middle ground. Growth requires a certain level of stress as a catalyst.
Consider someone who, at 40, decides to take control of their health after years of prioritizing work. This shift requires the stress of breaking long-standing habits, restructuring their schedule, and embracing discomfort. But pushing through that initial resistance is necessary for real transformation.
Being comfortable might feel good in the moment, but it’s often the first sign that we’re beginning to fail. We need a little discomfort to keep us growing. The only time we should feel completely at ease is during rest and recovery periods. Outside of those moments, a healthy level of discomfort signals that we’re pushing ourselves toward growth.
For some, a fear of failure keeps us locked in our comfort zones. But failure isn’t the opposite of success — it’s a step toward it. Every time we fail yet persist, we grow. We aren’t truly striving toward our potential if we never face challenges or setbacks. In this context, failure is necessary for growth.
The Wheel of Life: Finding Balanced Success
One crucial aspect of success that often gets overlooked is balance. Many people excel in one area of life while neglecting others. I’ve written before about the Wheel of Life, a tool comprising seven key categories for evaluating all areas of our existence:
The key here is looking at the wheel as a whole. Success isn’t about perfection in one area; it’s about becoming a complete human being who grows in all aspects of life. When you focus on one element at the expense of others, you actually limit your potential for true success.
For instance, rating a “10” in career but a “3” in family life or social connections isn’t a true success. It’s far better to be a “7” across all aspects of life than to excel in one area while others deteriorate.
If you use the wheel as a tool in your life, just remember: What constitutes a “10” is highly individual. Success in each area is based on your unique potential and circumstances.
How to Achieve Success: Final Thoughts
My philosophy of success isn’t about external achievements — it’s about personal growth and balance on your individualized path. If you want to know how to achieve success in this way, start by considering your circumstances and abilities, embracing the discomfort of facing challenges, and directing that effort toward growth in each core area of your life.
Remember, success isn’t about reaching a single pinnacle. It’s about continually pushing yourself to be the best version of yourself.
